Modern technology has made the search for a partner much easier. Thanks to dating apps, we don’t even need to leave the house to meet our destiny. It’s enough just to go online, and we have hundreds of profiles of potential partners at our fingertips. But sometimes technology gets in the way of truly getting closer. The problem is that we’ve become so used to online communication that we interact with each other in real life less and less. We can spend hours messaging, yet still never really get to know the person.
The downsides of texting in online dating
Texting is a very convenient tool, especially when you need to quickly find something out or pass on some information. We can send a message at any time that suits us, without distracting the other person from what they’re doing, as we would with a call. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, texting often becomes a barrier to intimacy.
Texting allows us to keep a safe distance. On the one hand, that’s an advantage, especially if we’re maintaining the conversation simply out of politeness and don’t plan to get closer to the person. But if we want to build a trusting relationship, this distance, on the contrary, gets in the way. Because texting doesn’t allow us to convey the full depth of our feelings, the interaction remains superficial.
Another disadvantage of text messages is the lack of non-verbal cues. When we text, we can’t see facial expressions or hear tone of voice. Yet these are exactly what help us correctly understand the other person’s emotions and mood. That’s why misunderstandings and pointless conflicts often arise in text conversations. We start to imagine for ourselves what emotional colouring a particular message was written with. Even the most neutral reply can come across as rude or cold simply because the other person didn’t add an emoji at the end of the sentence.
Another problem with texting is that we tend to idealise our partner. The longer we stay in touch by text, the more illusions we build. We attribute to the person the qualities we would like them to have. As a result, when we finally meet in real life, we feel disappointed, because it turns out we’ve fallen in love with someone who exists only in our imagination.
Quite often we also get so used to texting that we keep putting off meeting in person. For many, this is driven by a basic fear. When we’re texting, we can fully control the conversation. We have time to think about our reply, and, if necessary, we can always edit or delete it. But in real life we have to interact with each other in the moment, and awkward pauses are simply unavoidable.
How to move from online to offline
For many people, moving from messaging to meeting in real life means stepping out of their comfort zone. But without this step, it’s simply impossible to build a truly deep and trusting relationship. Here are a few tips to help you start communicating in person:
- Don’t drag out the messaging stage. Ideally, you shouldn’t be texting for more than a few days. That’s quite enough time to get to know someone on a surface level and decide whether you want to move on to the next stage. If you keep messaging for too long, you risk simply getting tired of the fact that the acquaintance isn’t turning into anything more.
- Use voice messages. This way you’ll get used to the other person’s voice and the way they speak, and it will be easier for you to take the step towards a phone conversation. By the way, talking on the phone is also very helpful for becoming closer. But of course, you should arrange the time of the call so that both you and the other person feel comfortable talking at that moment.
- Make your invitation to meet specific. Instead of vaguely saying “we should meet sometime”, suggest a specific day and place. And if the person keeps refusing under various pretexts, it’s worth taking a closer look at them. It may well be that your conversation partner is not who they claim to be.
- Start with short dates. A half-hour meeting over a cup of coffee is enough to understand whether there is that very “spark” between you. Choose places that are busy but not too noisy, because it’s important that you have the chance to get to know each other better. A park, a cosy café or a small restaurant are ideal. It’s better to skip a date at the cinema or in a club, because you simply won’t have the opportunity to talk properly there.
Another way to reduce anxiety before meeting in person is to talk via video.
Video chats — a bridge to real closeness
Chat roulette is perfect for those who are tired of swiping and endless messaging. The main advantage of such platforms is real, live interaction. You talk to your companion in real time and can see every emotion on their face and hear exactly what tone of voice they use. This helps avoid misunderstandings and illusions, because the interaction is happening in the moment and the person on the other side of the screen looks exactly as they really do.
On top of that, video chat roulette helps you overcome shyness. When we are in a comfortable environment, it’s easier for us to relax and start a conversation. And if you don’t like the person, you can always press “next” and, within a few seconds, start getting to know someone new. In a video chat you don’t need to come up with an excuse to end the conversation or feel awkward about it.
If you’re not familiar with this format yet, we recommend starting with Videochat.chat. This platform was created specifically for romantic dating. It has a gender filter, so the system connects men only with girls. And thanks to its large and active user base, it’s genuinely possible to meet your other half here. What’s more, you don’t even need to register to start chatting in video chat roulette. You simply go to the website and start meeting new people. And, very importantly, videochat.chat carefully makes sure that the atmosphere on the platform stays pleasant and friendly. Moderators promptly block anyone who breaks the rules.
Technology in the service of love
There’s certainly no need to demonise online dating. Thanks to apps and messaging, many people have met their other halves — and, perhaps, if it weren’t for the internet, they would never even have found out about each other’s existence. But it’s important to remember that the internet is a place where you can meet your soulmate, while building a relationship still really matters in real life.
No matter how beautiful your messages are, it’s impossible to convey everything you feel through a screen. So if you’ve met someone who is truly close to you in spirit, do your best to make sure your relationship moves from online to offline as soon as possible.
